Learning to Be Present
I came across a Facebook post I made on April 5, 2020, as we were all adjusting to the changes the pandemic brought our way. I decided to repost it today, as learning to be still, present, and mindful can improve your mental health and relationships. Hope you enjoy!
Be present in every moment. I remember when I did not understand what that statement meant. The first time my therapist asked me to sit in silence and focus on my body for 10 minutes during a session, I struggled. For the first couple of minutes, I made smart-alecky comments, laughed, and made jokes until she told me every time I made a noise, the clock would start over. I thought to myself, “oooh – she’s serious,” and I laughed internally because I certainly didn’t want to restart the clock again for this seemingly pointless exercise. I fidgeted and squirmed. I started disliking my therapist for my paying her to make me sit there in silence.
“I fidgeted and squirmed. I started disliking my therapist for my paying her to make me sit there in silence.”
I don’t know how many minutes passed, but something happened – something changed. The voice in my head started getting quieter and I became aware of my breathing. I became fixated on a particular spot across the room and I suddenly became very aware of my body as a whole. I later described that moment as a shift, like my body had geared down similar to when we shift a car down into second or third gear while descending a steep mountain. My body ached in places; why hadn’t I noticed that before? After a few more minutes, tears started falling. Boy, I was certainly not expecting that to happen! I also became aware that I was feeling heavy, like a heavy sadness that I would have never thought was there before that moment. That’s the day I started learning what being present meant.
Right now, many of us may have things going on in our minds and bodies that we are not aware of because we are not being present. We may be so caught up with others in the house, with cleaning every square inch of each room, with binge-watching a show, or with overwhelming thoughts of uncertainty and fear that we are unaware that our body is crying out for attention.
I would encourage you to find some quiet space for at least 10 minutes today, to sit in silence and listen to your breath and your heart beat. If you find this difficult to do, you can search for a guided mindfulness meditation on YouTube or using an app like Calm. It may not be possible for you to clear your mind and that’s okay… just do the best you can. Focus on your what you are feeling, to your heart and your breath. Try to do this once each day, whenever you think about it, and be fully present. And please don’t think you will have the same experience I did – just feel what you feel with no judgment. I promise it will be one of the greatest gifts you give yourself.
Getting Help
If you find yourself struggling to be still and present, I can help! Often, we struggle with presence and being “in the now” due to learning to ignore our feelings and to stuff things down. You also may be struggling with anxiety, depression, obsessive thoughts, or other issues which impede your ability to be fully present. Please contact me via phone at 501-242-0405 or by using the secure contact form to discuss how therapy can help you.
Until next time!
Angie