Author: Angie Bates

Learning to Be Present

Posted on by Angie Bates

Learning to Be Present

I came across a Facebook post I made on April 5, 2020, as we were all adjusting to the changes the pandemic brought our way. I decided to repost it today, as learning to be still, present, and mindful can improve your mental health and relationships. Hope you enjoy!

Be present in every moment. I remember when I did not understand what that statement meant. The first time my therapist asked me to sit in silence and focus on my body for 10 minutes during a session, I struggled. For the first couple of minutes, I made smart-alecky comments, laughed, and made jokes until she told me every time I made a noise, the clock would start over. I thought to myself, “oooh – she’s serious,” and I laughed internally because I certainly didn’t want to restart the clock again for this seemingly pointless exercise. I fidgeted and squirmed. I started disliking my therapist for my paying her to make me sit there in silence.

 

Past Present Future

“I fidgeted and squirmed. I started disliking my therapist for my paying her to make me sit there in silence.”

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The Meaning of Trauma

Posted on by Angie Bates

The Word Trauma 

Recently, I learned that the word “trauma” comes from the Greek word τραῦμα, which literally means “wound.” A lot of people have a hard time knowing what is meant when someone uses the word trauma, but I think that definition does a great job of summing it up. 

You may hear some people referring to the word trauma with other descriptors, such as big-T Trauma, little-t trauma, Post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD), and complex PTSD (C-PTSD).  

If we think of trauma as a wound, it helps us to understand the difference in the big-T and little-t designations; a large wound would be a big-T, and a smaller wound would be a small-t. However, multiple small-t trauma events can create a larger, big-T Trauma. This also helps to explain the variation in PTSD and C-PTSD; PTSD is typically, although not always, the result of a single, significant event or multiple events of the same type. Most people associate PTSD with people in the military and veterans, typically in relation to being in combat for an extended period of time. Complex PTSD, or C-PTSD, is the result of one or more big-T Trauma events combined with one or more little-T trauma events. 

Experiencing Trauma

Humans can encounter trauma through experiencing or witnessing distressing and disturbing events in their life. These experiences can be extreme, such as abuse, assault, or witnessing such events. Humans can also encounter trauma through common events or times, such as the death of a loved one, being alone or abandoned, accidents, or hurtful words. Trauma does not look the same with everyone; two people who have the same shared experience may not manifest trauma in the same way. One person may be mildly affected or not affected at all, and the other person could be significantly impacted. 

Often without realizing it, we have unprocessed trauma that may show up in a variety of ways. Some people experience panic attacks, particularly after being triggered, while others may go in and out of depression or disassociate (disconnect from the present moment while reliving something in the past). These reactions are not voluntary, but automatic processes that we cannot control. They can be scary and may bring on bodily sensations and feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, anger, and fear. But you do not have to suffer alone! 

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Common Myths of Therapy

Posted on by Angie Bates

Common Myths of Therapy

  • Why should I go to therapy?
  • They’ll just blame everything on my childhood.
  • Therapy is for crazy people!
  • Therapy is for weak or mentally ill people! 
  • My problems aren’t serious enough for therapy.
  • Therapy will make things worse!

Do any of these statements sound familiar? There are so many myths about therapy – and before I became a therapist, I believed some of them, too! 

But the fact is, everyone goes through challenging situations at various points in their life. Undoubtedly, you have successfully navigated through a number of difficulties in the past, but perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed or at a loss for what to do. Deciding to seek help is a courageous step; in fact, therapy is for people who have enough self-awareness to realize they need a helping hand.

By reaching out to a trained professional, you are taking the first step to change and improve your life. Therapy provides tremendous benefits and long-lasting results by giving you the tools you need to improve your quality of life, learn new skills, and resolve conflicts which will lead to finding balance in your life and your relationships. 

So here is a new list – a list of truths and benefits about therapy! 

It’s Not for “Crazy” People

No, you don’t have to be “crazy” to go to therapy. Therapy is beneficial to everyone – none of us are perfect.

There is always something you can open up about and share with an unrelated party like a therapist. And doing so can make you feel more at peace with yourself and more balanced in your life. 

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Welcome to my therapy website and blog!

Posted on by Angie Bates

New Website, New Blog, and New Career

Hello! I am glad you are here on my new website and my new blog. Let me start out by sharing a little bit about myself.

My name is Anjolina (Angie) Bates and I became a Licensed Associate Counselor and a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist in 2020. This is my second career; previously, I had an IT business that I started way back in 1991 in Conway, Arkansas. I also was a Network Manager for a federal government research facility for eight years. 

A few years ago, I went to therapy for the first time because things felt like they were falling apart internally. I struggled to concentrate on anything and it felt like I was in the biggest funk of my life. I had no idea what I was doing when I first googled “therapist” but figured things out pretty quickly. As luck would have it, the therapist I chose had an opening that afternoon due to a cancellation. 

Those few hours of waiting felt like a lifetime! Read more >